When will this fresh Hell be over?

So, I’ve been doing my best to play Animal Crossing: New Horizons with a minimum of spoilers and guides, which is ridiculous, I know, because I spend a lot of time spinning my wheels, but then again allows for really fun surprises (my family stared at me like I had three heads when I suddenly exclaimed “Fireflies!” when summer started and those blinky bugs showed up by my island rivers). Anyway, this wedding photo event started on Harv’s Island and, as you can see by my dismal first day attempt, it was awkward to say the least.

Oh, let’s start by admitting I didn’t know what the F to do and I decorated Harv’s other rooms with my own decor and couldn’t figure out what happened to the happy couple. I had to talk to Harv again to get them to pop back up, so that was a fun waste of time but I did have fun putting different looks together for future reference. Then, once I figured out I was an idiot, I created that dud of a pic above, to which Reese pulled a Karen and wasn’t really fond of it but she grudgingly gave me some heart crystals. Thanks, beezy, I didn’t know what I was doing but I flew all the way over here to Harv, aka Sonny Bono’s Island to help him out, no worries cheapskate, keep tonguing your husband there.

Sorry, I digress. The next day I came back and “Cy-guy” and Reese wanted their shot to look like a wedding party and they wanted pink and white. OK, I prettied it up a bit, Reese was happier, it came out better than the last one, and they don’t look as disapproving. (I may be reading a lot into their expressions.)

Yeah, I don’t know, they kind of look like they’re in shock. But Reese gave me a buttload of heart crystals, which I forgot what I was supposed to do with them, but whatever, more is better, right?

Day 3. They want a picture to re-create the ceremony. Wut?

I mean, I guess. I’m assuming they’re going to Photoshop people into these empty chapel pews and wedding party chairs? It’s pretty effing lonely. Once again, Reese was over the moon and rewarded me with heart crystals. I don’t know why but this reminds me of whatserf*ck from Braveheart, the French princess who married the English prince who was really not batting for her team. Arranged marriages, jeesh.

Here we are, the fourth day. Now we want the reception. Jeebus f***. Pink and white again. Makes me wonder what the point of the “garden” customization color is, with all the green.

OK, I used some “chic” in there too, which added some black, but it also added a lot of which and bougie gold, and I just now realized you can pick up Cy and Reese and carry them, wriggling, around the room to place them. Hot damn! Reese loved this one too, gave me more crystals, I finally realized Cy must serve some function other than silently producing furniture in the event tab, and lo and behold, he trades furniture for heart crystals! (Yes, I’m an idiot and I could have looked at a guide, but what fun is that?)

Herein lies the real question: What am I trying to achieve with all this? Sure, it’s a bit of “June Wedding” fun, but each time I walk away with a free piece of wedding furniture. And the heart crystals I turn in with Cy are for more wedding furniture to round out the sets. Am I going to create my own Little White Chapel (that’s where I got married in Vegas, kids) on my island? Is Tom Nook an ordained minister, too? I have questions.

Also, this event has a duration of 30 days. Thirty. Frickin’. Days.

Wow.

Hope you’re having fun with it and are much more creative than I am because I’m running out of ideas fast! I need to send help to Queer Eye, they were helping ACNH people with island home interiors, are they doing any wedding planning of their own?

Ciao for now!